Global-warming panel to Earth’s rescue … for a price

By RACHEL MARSDEN
Tribune Media Services

Hundreds of United Nations global warming scientists just met in France via Earth-destroying air travel, at a time of unseasonably cool temperatures across France, to once again justify their funding. Apparently the overall temperature of Earth is set to maybe rise 4 degrees in the next hundred years. You can bet when climate scientists get together to discuss “solutions” to these hypothetical “problems,” they’re going to come up with ways to make humans suffer for being jerks to the planet.

The group — the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) — has a new assessment report focused on “risk management and the framing of a response through both adaptation and mitigation.” It’s a modified focus compared with previous reports. A sign, perhaps, that the IPCC has given up on stopping livestock from passing flatulence — the primary source of climate change gas — and accepted our pending doom at the hands of our farting overlords.

I’d also like to contribute to the cause of how we can all better contend with an apparently devastating temperature rise of probably less than one degree over our lifetimes.

Because it’s hard to justify doing anything differently for something so logically insignificant, I’ll pretend, as climate scientists do, that I’ll lose my funding and livelihood if I can’t make something out of nothing. I’ll be exaggerating, pretending that a one-degree rise is more like a hundred. Let’s start in Europe, where this lunacy starts, before spreading like a plague to North America.

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